The leader is not those who screams louder, but those who has a self-belief. It’s like ultimate fighting: the battle wins the strongest. Today we’ll learn how to boost negotiation skills, in order to withstand an attack of the interlocutor of any impudence level.
Very often, when we communicate, the argument begins to grow heated. It seems impossible to resist the pressure of the opponent. What do you think about this?
Let’s kick off!
Imagine that you were working on a difficult project. Now you are standing in front of your colleagues and ready to present them new ideas. You are making your report with passion, everything’s coming up waters, but suddenly… one of your listeners is interrupting you and asking:
– What’s the nonsense? What the hell are you talking about?
Now the most interesting things are beginning. When you hear such comments, be sure, it is one of the manipulation tricks which is used against you. The opponent is trying to dent your self-confidence and laugh at your ideas. If you lose temper, he will win.
What should you do? – Keep calm. Just send about his business. “Cleaning memory” tactic will help you in this case.
“Cleaning Memory” Tactic for Negotiation Skills
Hear out your interlocutor. Let him speak his mind and tell “how foolish your ideas are”. Let everybody listen to his claims and comments.
“What Do You Mean?”
Now listen out the whole negative flow of interlocutor’s thoughts and then ask: “Wait a minute, I don’t understand, what you mean when you say “nonsense” and “what’s the hell”? Why are you surprised?”
It will make your opponent think out the arguments anew, and you’ll have time to calm down and prepare for the new attack of this cool fish.
Send about his business. This is the time of your triumph: the main thing is not to cross the red line. Try to avoid a conflict. Prove your audience that you are running this show. The audiences are your pack. They choose the strongest leader and follow him.
Speak out your negative thoughts in reply. Do it confidently.
Let’s try to do it from the “personal” side:
– You know, I think that a polite person doesn’t talk about “nonsense” and “hell” during someone public speech. Are you always way out of line in such situations?
– Weren’t you taught that interrupting somebody is impolite? May I end my report and then you’ll ask your questions?
It can stop your interlocutor but also can cause the conflict.
More “calm” way is to criticize the asked question:
– It’s strange for me to hear such word as “nonsense”, while we are discussing so important things. I don’t understand what you mean.
And of course, you can criticize the timeliness of the question:
– I think this comment is not actual now because it is interrupting our discussion, slowing down our conference program. It’s better for us to hear your questions at the end of our meeting.
Find the Sense
Our task is to turn the opponent’s negative comment into our benefits. In other words, show the audience that the negative remark helps us come up with a great idea:
– You know, this remark about “nonsense” helped me to come up with an interesting idea. Our project is very important. So in order to make the presentation clearer, we should add more images.
Say: “Thank You!”
Yes, exactly, thank the opponent for his comment. This way you show the audience: that person is “on your side” and helps you to develop yourself, so you are thankful.
This way we are “cleaning memory” of our audience. And nobody remembers this unpleasant remark.
Now we know how to resist the opponents attack. But are you ready to have a deal with unsatisfied customer or partner? Let’s check:
Imagine that you have a meeting with a client. You are making yourself comfortable, sitting in the arm-chair, and ready to talk business, but suddenly you face misunderstanding. The client loses temper and doesn’t like all your suggestions. He is unsatisfied by everything around him and not going to start the constructive talk.
What should you do? – Just use the following magic tactics to decrees his rage degree and finish the war.
4 tactics for the most nervous interlocutors
The main task is to show your interlocutor that you are on his side. Here are several tactics, which can help you to make the conversation more friendly and calm:
“I believe you”. When somebody hears such phrase, he understands that his interlocutor is friendly and shares his problems.
“I see, I understand ”. It is the second phrase that helps to be on the same wavelength with an interlocutor. When you say: “I see. Yes, I understand”, you mean that an interlocutor is a wise person, and you are always ready to help.
3 “Yes!”. It is a psychological tactic. You should let your interlocutor answer “yes” at least once. If he answers “yes”, he will be ready to talk:
The client is unsatisfied because you didn’t meet the deadline. You are not agreed with him. Ask him: “You want to get the high-quality product, don’t you?” – he will answer “yes”. You can start talking business – the time is now.
“It’s important for you…” It’s also the psychological tactic. It works the same way like Three “Yes!”. You say: “It’s important for you…” and continue, using the phrases of your interlocutor. And what thoughts he will have? – He’ll understand that you are on the same wavelength.
So choose your magic phrase and use it in the necessary cases.
Remember: there are no “bad” interlocutors – it’s all in our mind. Just do it and stand your ground. It will boost your negotiation skills and self-confidence.
Wish you good luck and victory!